Tag: moving

“It appears that you are in a processing loop.”

I stared at these words. Read them again. Closed my eyes, in hopes I had somehow misunderstood. Opened my eyes. Nope, still there.

“It appears that you are in a processing loop.”

It’s one thing if you are used to dealing with a big, old institution. And the Episcopal Church in the United States certainly fits that bill. I have been in the church my whole life, however, so negotiating processes are like swimming upstream. It’s doable, as long as you know where the rocks are and how to turn the current in your favor.

HOWEVER…if you introduce another part of that same institution, it becomes slightly more challenging. Like swimming upstream in someone else’s creek. Then (and it’s only in hindsight that I realized this should have been obvious) introduce a whole other institution, like say the government, and you’re now in the ocean, with giant tidal forces whipping you around. “Just keep swimming” may have worked for Dora, but it’s not going to cut it for me. See, I was in a processing loop.

Here’s a simple description to bring you up to speed: I need to have a background check done in the UK (even though the FBI has expressed twice that they have nothing on me.) To get this done, I need my work visa. To get my work visa done, I need verification from the diocese that they will be responsible for me if I suddenly decide to live a life of petty crime. But – and I’m sure you’ve already gotten there – I can’t get that verification without the UK background check. Processing loop.

Now I understand that. Yet where does it leave me? Delayed already by nearly a month, because no one wants to figure out how to break said loop. Looking back, I do see how this initial incident helped prepare me for more of the same loopiness. Take for example two fine institutions, like the banking system, and the communications business.

Me: I would like internet access in my new home, so I can let my American friends and family know I am not dead.

CB: To do that, you need a UK phone number.

Me: I would like a UK phone number.

CB: To do that, you need a UK bank account.

Me: (deep breath) I would like a UK bank account. Please.

BS: We can do that, but you need a UK phone number.

Maybe the government had a good reason to worry about me engaging in petty crime. I spent most of my next few days trying to figure sneaky ways around the system. (My new colleague and I decided on a burner phone. How cool is that?! Yes, I know, it’s just a “pay as you go” and it’s totally legal, but we like to think of it as a burner phone just for that coolness factor.) In the end, breaking that loop wasn’t as impossible as it seemed, it just needed some creative thinking.

Breaking the initial processing loop wasn’t that hard either. It just took a bishop. All of this institutional silliness makes me think of two things. One – regardless of the many differences between our two great lands, things like giant, ancient systems are deft at causing us to bang our heads against the wall repeatedly. And two – how hard must it be for someone to go to a new country without the resources that I’m fortunate enough to have? It makes me thankful and makes me more attentive to those who struggle. Thankful and attentive. Now that’s a pretty good loop to be stuck in.